How Can I Prepare My Children for Divorce?

If you are considering divorce and you and your spouse share children, the idea of breaking the news to them may be heartbreaking. Even if you checked out of the marriage a long time ago, your children are still emotionally invested in the current family dynamic, and it is only natural to want to protect them during the transition.

Every child reacts to the news of a pending divorce differently, and your own children may exhibit anger, sadness, denial, or any number of emotions upon hearing the news. Although you should encourage your children to express these emotions, which will likely be negative at first, there are steps you can take to minimize the impact of the news.

If you are considering divorce and you need quality legal counsel, contact the Law Office of Charles Zolot. Our attorneys have more than 25 years of experience practicing family law, and we can help you avoid making costly mistakes that might compromise your personal or financial interests. Call 718-779-6545 to schedule a consultation with a family lawyer in Brooklyn.

Read on to learn four tips to help you prepare your children for divorce:

  1. Keep the Conflict Contained

Disputes can arise in even the most amicable divorce proceedings, and it is essential that you keep these disputes away from your children. According to the American Psychological Association, most children adjust to their parents’ divorce within two years; however, those who experience parental conflict during and after the proceedings are more likely to experience psychological and social problems.

  1. Remind Your Children That They Are Not to Blame

Some children have a natural inclination to blame themselves when they learn that their parents are divorcing. For example, they may have noticed that some of the tension in the household was due to the different parenting styles of their mom and dad, which could lead them to believe they are the problem. When you first break the news to your children and every time you discuss the divorce thereafter, remind them that they are not to blame and that both you and your spouse love them very much.

  1. Try to Help Them See the Potential Benefits

Finding the silver lining in a pending divorce may be challenging, but it is not impossible. For example, maybe you or your spouse will finally move into a place that allows pets or has a pool. Talk to your children about all the advantages of having two homes so they can look forward to the transition.

  1. Do Not Use Your Children as Pawns

In most cases, children benefit from having both parents in their life, and it is important to remember this during the proceedings. You may want full custody of your children, but is that really in their best interests? As long as you make your children a priority and avoid putting them in the middle, you will not add any additional stress to an already tense situation.

If you are facing divorce or a contentious custody battle, turn to the Law Office of Charles Zolot. Our office is available 24 hours a day, seven days a week.

Call 718-779-6545 to schedule a consultation with a divorce attorney in Brooklyn. You can learn more about child custody laws in New York by visiting



Charles Zolot