7 Questions to Ask Before Getting Divorced
BROOKLYN, New York. Divorce is a tough decision for any couple to make and most couples spend months or years trying to save their union before making the decision to split. That said, if you and your partner are considering filing for divorce, here are 7 questions you may want to ask before you file the paperwork.
- What could you or your spouse do to save the marriage? When you are both calm, sit down and make a list of some things that you think would need to happen for the marriage to be saved. Consider the things that you think you’d have to do and the things you think your partner would have to do to save the marriage.
- What are you looking for in a partner? Sometimes our partners fail to meet one or several of our needs. However, this, in itself, may not be a reason to end the marriage. Very few people can meet all our needs. Are you expecting too much for your partner? Are they ways you can get what you need outside your marriage? The New York Times notes that sometimes the trade-off of what your partner brings to the marriage versus what he or she lacks, is worth considering.
- Does your spouse understand your issues with the relationship? Sometimes fights can escalate and the message you are trying to send to your partner gets lost in translation. It might be wise to visit a marriage counselor, even if it’s only to be clear on the reasons why your marriage is ending.
- How can we protect our children? If you are going to move forward with a divorce, it may be a good idea to speak to a family lawyer, like the Law Offices of Charles Zolot, in Brooklyn, New York. Co-parenting is a life-long commitment. Taking an adversarial approach can damage not only your co-parenting relationship, but also put your children at risk. Taking a child custody battle to court puts both parties at risk that a judge will make a decision neither partner wants.
- What will our finances look like separated? Divorcing couples are not always prepared for the financial realities that divorce brings. If you will be residing in two homes, you’ll need two homes, not one, and with this arrangement come two mortgages or two rental payments. Are you both financially prepared to consider the increased expenses that may come along with divorce? Sometimes it helps to plan ahead financially. For instance, if one parent stays at home to care for the children, he or she may need to find work.
- Who will care for the children? If children are cared for by a stay-at-home mom or dad, it is important to consider how childcare will be managed after divorce.
- What mistakes were made? Both parties may have contributed to the ending of the relationship. Take stock of your own role in the relationship’s end. What can you differently next time to avoid making the same mistakes? The Huffington Post also suggests that individuals consider whether life without their spouse will be as good as it seems. You might find yourself facing the same problems in your next relationship.
If you are considering getting divorced, it is important to understand that you are embarking on a personal split and also a legal process. The Law Offices of Charles Zolot are divorce lawyers in Brooklyn, New York who can help you navigate the legal challenges that accompany divorce.